A Parent's Guide to Etiquette on the Net

Since the Internet changes rapidly, its netiquette does too. The need for a sense of netiquette arises mostly when sending or distributing e-mail, posting on Usenet newsgroups, or chatting.

Since the online world can feel "pretend" to a child, because of its seemingly anonymous nature, it is very important that a parent articulates and reinforces the importance of basic values, such as truthfulness, responsibility, and respect. Children need a careful explanation of what is acceptable behavior and why, and they need to know what exceptions, if any, are permissible, (such as using an alias online to protect anonymity etc.)

As a newbie (someone new to the Internet) you do not want to venture into cyberspace until you are familiar with the acceptable standards of Internet behavior. There are a few introductory measures that can help you feel more comfortable with the new situations cyberspace will throw at you.

Here are some rules to live by if you want to become a responsible Netizen.

  Do unto others, as you'd have others do unto you. Be polite and courteous at all times, just because you are not engaged in real world conversation, does not mean you can abandon real world manners and ethics. Remember that you're not communicating with a computer screen, but with a human being in possession of thoughts and feelings just like you. So before you fly off the handle, or send a rude or offensive message, think about the person on the receiving end.

  If you are new to a chat room or Usenet, the golden rule is to lurk before you leap. As various countries have different norms and cultures, the domains of cyberspace vary in their ideas of acceptable behavior. When entering a new domain, make sure you listen and observe for a while before speaking your mind, find out what people are talking about and what their acceptable practices are. If possible take a look at the list of FAQs before you participate. This way there is less chance of you offending someone.

  Do not TYPE ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS for emphasis. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE SHOUTING. If you need to emphasize a word, use asterisks, like *this* or lines, like _this_.

  Be aware that the biggest problem with the Internet is that the written word is not easy to interpret. When you speak something, people can hear the tone of your voice. If they can see you, they can take visual clues from your face and body to see if you intend humor or if you are trying to soften what sounds like a harsh sentence. All of this is lost in text, and sometimes responses can come across as mean or rude, even when the writer did not intend them this way. This is the reason some people use emoticons (visual clues) in their e-mails, it saves a lot of confusion.

  Be careful not to use rude or bad language online. Many providers will terminate your account.

  Respect the privacy of others. If someone sends you e-mail on one topic, don't add him or her to your mass e-mailings without their permission. NEVER sell or give their e-mail address without permission to anyone else who will use it for promotion or advertising. Remember... you wouldn't want people reading your mail, why should you read theirs? It is poor manners - and thus poor netiquette - to read other people's private material without permission.

  Don't break any laws. Cyberspace may seem like a completely different world, but remember that you're still in the real world, a world with laws and standards of ethics. When you're on the net, follow the same standard of behavior that you would in real life. Remember, if it is against the law in the real world, it is against the law in cyberspace.

  Be universal. The world isn't all the same and other users have different Web browsers, different online services, different e-mail programs etc. So don't, for example, send out e-mail with text formatting -- boldface, italics, indentations, etc. -- because many other programs will not be able to read the formatting and the recipients will receive your e-mail filled with muddled codes.

  Be brief where appropriate. Don't make people read stuff they don't want to know about. Never waste bandwidth with unnecessarily long postings and repeated postings. One of the golden rules of replying to an e-mail is to try editing out unimportant information and anything that is repeated. Long e-mails and forum postings also tend not to be read, so all your effort may be wasted.

  Don't flame. Do not send rude or offensive e-mails or postings. It's bad manners and can get seriously out of hand (flame wars). So don't flame others and if you are flamed, do not respond: you will never win. If you are flamed in a forum or chat room, contact the system's administrator and make your complaint. If you receive nasty e-mail, delete it or ignore the meanness and respond to the sender's actual points, minus the meanness.

  Always identify yourself. Never send e-mail without including your name at the bottom of the e-mail. Similarly, don't post forum messages without identifying yourself, this is seen as rude. (In e-mail, always fill in the subject box, so people can see what the mail concerns).

  Make a good impression. Remember that the written word is the only way you can represent yourself online, so spelling and grammar count. If you are going to be writing a large amount of text for other people to see, make sure you break it up using paragraphs, it will make it easier on the eye for those that will read it.

  Be patient with newcomers. Once you have become an Internet expert, it is easy to forget that you started out as a newbie too. Learning the protocol of cyberspace is much like learning a new language; it takes practice, and includes making mistakes. So if you come across someone else's mistakes on the net, don't put them down, just politely point them in the right direction for guidance (send them a copy of these rules to get them started on their way!).

Things to remember about your e-mail account:

• Check e-mail regularly... so you can respond quickly
• Delete messages after you read them... frees up storage space for more productive use
• Don't send confidential information in your mail... others may be able to read/access it
• Don't be hasty when you send... if you write a message when you're upset, wait before you send it
• Be professional... your e-mail is a reflection of you
• Keep messages concise... no one wants to read through a lot of unnecessary information
• Don't send chain letters... they're as annoying on the internet as they are in real life
• Don't use all capital letters... it seems like you're shouting!

Things to remember when participating in a discussion group:

• Before asking or responding in a newsgroup, take the time to feel the group out
• Stick to the topic of the discussion group
• When quoting someone, use only the portion of the quote that is absolutely necessary
• Be brief and concise
• Avoid "flame wars"
• Don't send personal messages to an entire newsgroup, use e-mail
• Use correct grammar and spelling

Contributed by Maria Georgiou.